Snakes… Why’d it have to be snakes?

Just to be clear… I hate snakes.

I am appalled that I am even writing about this, and that I spent a bunch of time researching snakes and looking at pictures of snakes… *shudder* The things we do for art.

Since I have subjected myself to this ghastly topic, I now must force you to endure it as well. Although I’ll admit, I have gained a bit more of an appreciation for snakes now. (Which I will promptly forget the SECOND I see one slithering anywhere. GET BEHIND ME, SATAN!)

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I think I might want to be famous.

I’ve been thinking about fame recently. Fame, celebrity, influence, significance… this is a theme that keeps popping back up in various forms. And like most things I think about, I have a lot to say about it (sorry not sorry). I can’t hash it ALL out in one post, so you’ll have to stay tuned.

But in this post, I need to get personal. So first, an Autumn origin story…

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Acceptance of the Unacceptable

I woke up with anxiety today. The kind that makes your heart feel like it’s twice it’s size and beating so hard that I wonder if it’s just going to burst.

I close my eyes and take deep breaths but all that accomplishes is even MORE awareness of my body’s current state of panic, which sends my mind spinning…

Why am I feeling this way?

Why did I wake up like this?

What was I dreaming?

WHAT IS WRONG??

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Give it to me!

Do you remember Veruca Salt? In case you forget, or grew up in a cave or something, she is the nasty little girl from “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory” who is excessively spoiled and has no patience. Her character arc climaxes with a song called, “I Want It Now!”

I feel a little like Veruca Salt these days.

I WANT IT NOW.

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Am I good enough?

Okay.

Fine.

I’ll write.

I feel like I am going to explode. Literally, like I have so much inside that needs to come out that I have to DO something because if I don’t get it OUT, I am going to collapse into myself and create some kind of black hole that consumes everything that comes near. I try distracting myself… Do the dishes! The laundry! Is there anything happening on Facebook? Twitter? Hey, how is this friend doing today…? I better text them to say hi and check in! (Sorry, friends, I promise I really do care.)

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