I have been BOMBARDED with a message about love today. I follow a ton of therapists, coaches, and relationship “experts” online, so love is an everyday theme in my life, but today was different. It was specific & repetitive. In posts I read, conversations I had, and the thoughts bouncing around my head…
Sometimes I have this urge to say things and I don’t know who I should say them to. It can create this panic inside me, this feeling of energy in my chest that needs to escape.
I’m sitting here, a million things bouncing around in my brain and I just want to TALK about it. I pick up my phone and my mind searches for who I should reach out to… who would “get” this? Who is going to understand? Who wants to hear me talk about this?
Man. I am getting anxiety just sitting here trying to think of how to begin this. It’s going to be rough and raw so here’s your fair warning.
I was doing so great. I had my shit allll figured out. Getting up early everyday to make my bed, meditate, and journal. Yoga everyday. Running 2-3 times a week. Lots of water and no coffee. In bed by midnight and up by 6:30am (6 hours of sleep is my sweet spot). Writing regularly, making plans with friends regularly, getting outside regularly… my life felt like a well-oiled machine of self-care and joy.
And now… not so much. All of that has gone to absolute hell.
Overthinking has always been a major roadblock for me. I am in my head a lot, thinking about all the scenarios… dreaming and scheming and planning… I get stuck in there, in a perpetual state of preparation.